Zero Discrimination Day: Why Different Rules for Sons and Daughters?

Every couple strives to have a family at some point in their lives. While in certain countries the gender of the child is revealed before his/her birth, in other countries it remains a surprise until the child comes into this world. Well, a lot of research indicates that parents tend to treat their sons and daughters differently. Though there are “boy moms” and “girl moms”, there are couples who have children of each biological sex. You’ve probably seen that around you. Despite this, parents tend to have different rules for their sons and daughters. Though parents are reluctant to admit this, it’s a fact. Besides the rules, they have different expectations, standards and hopes from both of them.

Different Standards for Sons & Daughters

In an era of gender equality, this is a sad reality. In fact, this discrimination starts even before the child is born. Something as simple as toys are also different. For example, boys are discouraged from playing with dolls and household toys while girls are discouraged to play with remote-controlled cars, action figures, and so on. Well, who set these stereotypes in the first place? Do parents do this because there is a certain way in which society treats women? Honestly, I fail to understand this. Certain studies suggest that parents are more protective of their daughters than their sons. This is why they give the latter more freedom.

When both boys and girls come into the world the same way, why different rules?

How Parents treat their sons & daughters Differently?

• Praise

Though boys and girls receive the same amount of praise from their parents, the type of praise differs. The process praise a boy child received was 24.4% whereas the praise a girl received was only 10.3%. process praise is the praise a child receives for his/her efforts and strategies. In fact, the way a parent praises their child during childhood impacts their growth mindset as an adult. Lack of praise can result in failure, and a decrease in persistence and motivation. This can further cause a decline in academic performance.

• Time invested

Research shows that a father tends to invest more time in a son than in a daughter. This happens because a father and son have a common ground and can share masculine activities. They also care more if their son has eaten, rested enough and is happy. As a parent, if you treat one child better over the other, it can significantly impact the mental health of the child who is getting less attention.

• Educational abilities

Parents also have different beliefs about their son’s grasping power compared to their daughters. Though the actual performance might be quite similar, they feel like their sons work harder and have more “natural talent”.

Studies also reveal that fathers are more biased compared to mothers. They treat children differently based on their sex. For example, sons are allowed to stay out late at night, date whomever they want, consume alcohol as they turn 18 etc. whereas daughters are required to be coy and submissive as they’re generally portrayed to be the weaker sex.

5 Reasons why Parents may treat their sons and daughters differently

Consciously or not, parents do treat their sons and daughters in a different manner. Here’s why:

• Society treats women differently

Societal norms dictate that women need more protection than men. The former is considered the weaker section of society and everyone tends to buy into it. Owing to this norm, parents tend to become overprotective of their daughters.

• Molestation scare

Though it’s a harsh thought, it’s the reality of every girl’s life. Parents are scared that their daughters stand a higher chance of rape when they’re out on the streets at night. To safeguard them, they don’t give them the same freedom as their sons. Well, to a certain extent I do get where our parents are coming from. However, I feel like parents who have sons should teach them how to behave. If they do that, no parent will get stressed to send their daughter alone anywhere.

• They fear pregnancy

You may have noticed that a lot of parents allow their sons to go on holidays with their girlfriends but that’s not the case with their daughters. They’re overprotective about them. A major reason behind this is that because women mature faster than men, they worry that their daughter will get pregnant before the right time or fall prey to bad company.

• It’s in-built

Psychologically, most parents don’t even know that they’re treating their sons and daughters differently. Since society has already set certain standards, parents blindly follow something without even questioning it. In a few families, parents treat their children the same way they were brought up. What they don’t understand is that times have changed, and with that their thinking too has to change. It’s accepted as a norm, and therefore people blindly continue it.

• Old-fashioned thinking

Lastly, if there’s something to blame, it’s old-fashioned thinking. They feel like daughters need to be taken care of whereas sons get to forge their own path. Does this mean that they’re okay with their sons getting into trouble or being less safe? Honestly, such kind of thinking is hypocritical.

Bottomline

Sons and daughters should be treated equally no matter how society views them, or how “protected” parents feel a girl needs to be. When parents have the same rules and expectations for both, they grow up becoming stronger individuals. Don’t limit them to do certain things because of their gender. Teach them young, treat them fairly and they’ll become responsible adults.

Zero Discrimination Day 2023

Every year, Zero Discrimination Day is celebrated on 1 March by the United Nations (UN). The day aims to promote equality and gives everyone the right to live a full and productive life with dignity, inclusion, compassion, peace and solidarity. The motive is to end all forms of discrimination at all levels, and recognise that everyone counts.